Families guess wrong about a loved one's medical wishes about one time in three. Melrose elder law attorney Michael Stankavish says Thanksgiving is the best chance many families will get this year to fix that. His firm, North Shore Elder Law & Estate Planning, is urging adult children to use holiday visits to make sure an aging parent has a signed health care proxy.
A review of research published in the Archives of Internal Medicine found that family members predicted a patient's treatment choices correctly only 68% of the time. Massachusetts law doesn't automatically give a spouse or adult child the right to make medical decisions for a parent. When a parent can't speak and nothing is signed, families can be shut out of conversations with doctors, and some end up in Probate and Family Court seeking a guardianship.
"The hardest calls come from a hospital hallway," said Stankavish. "Mom can't speak for herself, and the family finds out the doctors can't take direction from them because nothing was signed. Fifteen minutes at the kitchen table over Thanksgiving prevents that."
Why Massachusetts is different
Massachusetts is one of the few states without a living will law. A living will tells family what a parent wants, but the health care proxy is the document Massachusetts hospitals rely on. A health care proxy names the person who makes medical decisions when you can't. For seniors with a serious illness, a MOLST form (Medical Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment) turns those wishes into medical orders that emergency crews and hospitals follow.
Timing matters. A parent must understand what they are signing for a health care proxy to be valid. Once dementia or a serious illness takes that ability away, the family's only option may be a court petition. While a parent is able, the form needs just two adult witnesses and no court filing.
The firm's guide, Estate Planning and Healthcare Directives for Seniors, walks families through four documents:
Health care proxy: names who makes medical decisions
HIPAA authorization: lets doctors share information with the people you choose
Durable power of attorney: names who handles bills, bank accounts and property
Written treatment wishes: a living will or letter that guides the health care agent
How to start the conversation
Stankavish suggests three openers that don't require talking about death:
"Who should the doctors call if you can't answer for yourself?"
"Where do you keep your important papers, in case I ever need them?"
"When did you last look at your will and health care proxy?"
"You don't have to talk about dying," Stankavish said. "Ask one question: if you ended up in the hospital, who do you want talking to your doctors? The answer tells you whether the paperwork exists."
The guide is free to read at https://nselep.com/news/healthcare-directives-for-seniors/. Stankavish is available for interviews through Nov. 25.
About North Shore Elder Law & Estate Planning
North Shore Elder Law & Estate Planning, at 610-A Main Street in Melrose, helps Massachusetts families with estate planning, MassHealth planning, guardianships and conservatorships, estate administration and probate litigation. Attorney Michael Stankavish has been licensed in Massachusetts since 2006. He is listed among Boston Magazine's Top Lawyers and is rated by Super Lawyers. The firm serves families in Melrose, Malden, Medford, Stoneham, Wakefield, Reading, Saugus, Lynnfield and across Massachusetts. Learn more at nselep.com or call 781-979-9050.
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For more information about North Shore Elder Law & Estate Planning, contact the company here:
North Shore Elder Law & Estate Planning
Michael Stankavish
781-979-9050
mstankavish@nselep.com
610-A Main St, Melrose, MA 02176